I feel my body getting smaller
inch by inch my stomach recedes
away from dining tables and dinner plates
away away away
from food and water and vitamins
These tangible torturous things
but keep me alive
& force me into
the sweetest relinquished relief
Wildflowers penetrate the porous dirt
Mingling with the grasses
Unafraid to assert their presence in the fields. Wildflowers dance freely,
spreading seeds through the air
Along the music of the wind.
Wildflowers; bright yellow, purple lilac
A great contrast to the uniformity of grass.
Wildflowers rise wild, brave, and free. Alive.
“You’re going the wrong way!”
“The school’s that way!”
I trod away from university
A universe lies between me and the others.
resonates in my mind
resonates in my bones
resonates in my soul.
“Am I good enough?”
More questions than answers flood my mind
But I doubt you have the time to answer.
You pander before the quickest release
Of the pedal that rests beneath your feet.
The bus’ engine roars, your voice quiets
My time to talk has ceased.
Image source: BlogTO
I’ve had many lovers,
I’ve made love many times,
but my love was found in the reflection of me in;
Fingers grip flesh so deep it pierces the skin,
hurting you, strengthening me,
we continue in this ritual of emotions,
too strong to be expressed physically,
into the moment before the release,
when two souls become one entity,
and leave bare bodies on exposed sheets.
Lucid dreaming as you thrust your energy into me,
Tangible pain yields tantric bliss.
You are love.
Lauryn Hill just wanted reciprocity
but see, I just want your honesty.
Did you ever love me?
not some idealized fantasy
the scarred jaded being that I am
that couldn’t live up to your expectations
and neediness and clinginess.
We fell into a mess of codependency,
We called it love,
We pretended to be happy.
The need to write wakes me up in the night
Thoughts ricochet off of dreams, memories
Lucidity. Superego runs wild
Translucent clarity breeds vivacity.
Sharp focus without bifocal lenses
Breath trembles on cotton pillowcases
Merging the conscious with the imagined
Past tears and traumas dominate this realm
Phallic fantasies frolic in my mind
Freeing pain but concealing its power
Reminiscing during REM Cycles.
Photographs cards ticket stubs
Memories of all that once was
And all it used to be
I see you in everything around me
I see resentment every time i see you
I see potential
I see passion
I see rejection
I see all I don’t want to feel
My vision is blurred and I see nothing else
Be careful what you ask of the Universe
I have found my inspiration
but I may have lost my lover.
Is it meant to heal?
Releasing catharsis through veins like gravel poured over the roses in the concrete.
Layers of comfort and complacency piled on top of each other – sedimentary rock
A natural disconnect forms an ecosystem of comfort, care, pressure, love.
Transformation so great, it’s almost metapoetry.
Fear metastasized into strength in the soul of a new being
Bonded together with pressure, incubated in an atmosphere of trust
Love is what we breathe.
It can be heard in the song of the wind
Or seen in the dance of the raindrops
free-falling from the safety of the cloud to the callous rock
Yet landing on the tender web of a spider
Spun delicately, deliberately and at the perfect time.
Dampening our fortress –
Without sacrificing the safety of its home.
I still love you.
I never stopped and I always have.
The truth is –
I don’t know how to
stop loving you.
I can be completely happy
with someone else
but when I
hear the sound
of your voice,
it all comes rushing back.
My body tensed when I realized I’d have to go from the present to the past when I spoke about you.
Simple syntax becomes a catalyst for epiphany
The only place that you’ll live is in my mind
And they say all wounds heal with time
But this gash penetrates my core.
You’re not here with me anymore.