by ElleDawn

Why Love?

Because the dopamine high I get while your soul dives into mine can only be matched by the way my heart flutters when you smile.
The way you smile and chinky eyes lit up my soul
something I still don’t understand,
but the way you held me
cared for me
treated me
like a princess fit for royalty.
That is where the love lies.
In the way you looked into my eyes and it felt like our heartbeats synchronized.

Why love?
The beauty in its simplicity.
You saw me as all I ever wanted to be.
Now, I see myself twice as much for the both of us.
Make love to myself sweeter than you ever did
Caress my body more softly, more sweetly,
Sweet love, the erasure of insecurity.
It runs so deep, it radiates through my fingertips.
Safe, sacred, living energy.

by ElleDawn

“In our Western understanding of time we involve the correlative of distance. The past is away in that direction, the future in that, and the present is just here, where I happen to be. But we speak of the passage of time; times come and go, the day will come. We remain in place and observe the flow of time, just as we sit at the cinema and watch, fascinated, as images fly before our eyes. The plane of time is shattered; it is composed of moments, ad infinitum, in perpetual motion.”

N. Scott Momaday, “On Indian-White Relations: A Point of View”

by ElleDawn

Broken Love

They say it’s better to have loved and lost than not loved at all…

Well I’m calling bullshit on that one.

I don’t think it’s better to have given my all to someone who took it for granted

Only to desire me as long as his dick could stand for it.

Leaving me with a broken heart in my hands

Ripped from my sleeve

I bleed, for you.

I loved for you.

Sacrifice and lonely nights, but I loved.

And now am lost.

by ElleDawn

Pyromaniac

Stability produces sanity but drains creativity.
I long for the tainted turmoil of relationships past,
We were fire and fire and I burnt out.
The all-consuming chemical, my love for you
combusted when I tasted the flavour of your lips
n felt the linger of your touch tantalize my skin
sending shockwaves of heat through my bloodstream.
A drug coursing through my veins,
I remain intoxicated.
Self-love abated by addiction –
for my drug of choice.

Flames bured wildly in my being ,
emaciating all of what I thought I knew.
Tearing down the walls of my heart,
scorching muschles, nothing left but tar.
Rebuilt myself with the ashes of our love,
Strangely stronger than before.
No longer comfortabe in my own home.
I seek the warmth of your being
unseeing fear and consciousness
flying closer to my Sun
unafriaid.

by ElleDawn

Morning Meditation.

Last week I started doing sun salutations again as an incentive to get out of bed once the alarm goes off in the morning without the added pressure to leave the threshold of my bedroom. Yoga helps ease the transition between my (usually) euphoric dream state, and the stressful environment of my reality. I revel in a moment of complete tranquility to set my intention for the day.

This morning I was considering the beliefs of two of my closest friends. One of them is an atheist & another, a pious Christian. Yet, they both receive the same level of comfort from their own knowledge of God. I listened to my friend cry their heart out, and then find solace in a biblical scripture the following morning. The physical remains of the night before lie strewn in the Kleenex across the bedroom floor, but all emotional turmoil had dissipated. Their identity and understanding of the universe are ground in that scripture.

I’ve listened to my other friend express their knowledge of the formation of Earth and how human life came to be. Their solace lies in knowing the true origins of life and being brash enough to accept it in the face of disbelief. Their worth wound around complex hypothesis. Perhaps, the universe expresses God as we wish to accept it to be used as a vessel for attaining peace.

by ElleDawn

An Ode to the Black Woman

Melanin created in the pineal gland;

affirms your place in the universe.

The same molecules within the Earth are inside you,

Black woman, your sameness is ingrained!

Your blood runs, runs

like rivers through mountains,

full of strength.

Your tears, the torrential outpour of your soul.

The darkness of the night in your eyes.

The breaths of a Goddess,

the whispers of the wind throughout the night sky.

 

Sun kisses your skin in the morn’,

filling you with light, positive energy & allowing you to grow,

Elevate to higher levels of consciousness,

Til’ you return unto the Earth;

for out of it were you taken,

This planet is your eternal home.

Black woman, you are nature personified.